Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
