What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
