bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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