Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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