Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
