nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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