I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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