When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
