i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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