I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
