Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
