Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
