she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
