Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
