Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
