barbara walters just said penis...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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