i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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