Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
