please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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