Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
