I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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