i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Still dying that you shit outside
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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