beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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