Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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