I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
where am i from again
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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