maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Farmville is her only friend.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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