So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Your dad touched me again.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
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