Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
