kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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