i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
