She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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