how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
