before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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