Well douche your snatch and let's go!
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
