If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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