the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
