New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
