apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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