she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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