just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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