apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize