I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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