peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
