Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
