dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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