Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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