Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think my vagina is haunted
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize