By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
