guys are only as good as the porn they watch
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
