yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
