He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
