So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize