I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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