ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
